«Erotic tales to turn you off and on again», lautet die nerdige Selbstbeschreibung des Twitter-Profils 50 Nerds of Grey. Natürlich handelt es sich dabei um Satire.
She said she was turned on by men who liked danger.
— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) 28. Februar 2017
So he disabled his firewall.
Bekannt wurden die Parodie-Tweets auf den Erotikroman erst vor einem Jahr, aktiv ist der Account aber bereits seit 2012.
They tried it standing up, sitting on a chair and bent over the kitchen table but it was no good, they just couldn't get a decent 4G signal.
— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) 5. Oktober 2015
Allein in den letzten zwölf Monaten sind 100'000 neue Fans auf Twitter hinzugekommen.
'It's just too big!' she cried. 'It's never going to fit!'
— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) 17. März 2016
'Of course it will,' he grinned, 'I've compressed the file.'
Kein Wunder, gibt es die Nerd-Witze nun auch auf Facebook.
Der war richtig gut, nicht? Darum gönnen wir uns doch gleich noch einen:
Da erst kürzlich Pi-Tag war:
Und nun: Viel Spass mit den witzigsten Tweets von 50 Nerds of Grey.
'I can't take any more!' she cried, desperately. 'How much longer will it go on?'
— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) 18. März 2017
'I'm sorry,' he said. 'These Windows updates take ages.'
'Come on!' she begged, lying naked before him. 'Do something wild!'
— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) 15. August 2016
'OK,' he said, and closed his laptop without shutting it down first . .
I gently caress the leather, then my fingers feel inside and flick over and over again . .
— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) 2. März 2017
I like big books and I cannot lie.#WorldBookDay
'Are you ready for this?’ he asked. ‘When I’m done you won’t be able to sit down for days'
— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) 19. Mai 2016
She nodded.
'OK' he said and put the sofa on eBay
He really enjoyed 3.14159265 in a bed . . . he was Pi-sexual.#PiDay
— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) 14. März 2017
He loved his girlfriend.
— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) 14. Februar 2017
She was like the square root of minus one - mysterious, sought after by millions . . . and imaginary.#Valentines
If she didn't respond to his needs, he knew the three places to touch that worked every time . . .
— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) 18. März 2017
Control, alt and delete.
'I know I asked you to carve a scary Halloween pumpkin,' she said trembling, 'But this is just too much!!' pic.twitter.com/0LVY9FkQwv
— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) 31. Oktober 2016
Being humiliated in public really turned him on.
— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) 14. April 2016
So he bought an Apple Watch.
When she found out he worked in technical support, it really turned her on.
— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) 3. Mai 2016
Then it turned her off.
Then it turned her on again.
"I can't take any more!" she cried, exhausted after three hours bent over the desk.
— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) 30. April 2016
It was no good, she just couldn't remember her password.
'So,' he asked, revealing the erect wood between his legs, 'Are you ready to play?'
— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) 26. April 2016
'Play what?' she asked, nervously.
'Quidditch!' he said.
She squirmed excitedly as he leaned over and whispered softly in her ear, 'Asdfg . . hjkl . . uiop.'
— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) 22. April 2016
She loved it when he talked Qwerty.
His tongue explored the hole before slowly probing deeper until finally she couldn't take any more.
— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) 2. Oktober 2015
'Would you just eat your donut already?'
He was very careful during bondage sessions.
— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) 7. April 2016
He always used a safe word that contained upper and lower case letters and at least one number.
'Yes!' he screamed, rigid with pleasure, 'Oh yes . . that's it . . right there . . YES!!!'
— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) 28. September 2015
He couldn't believe NASA had found water on Mars.
She said she was turned on by men with money but turned off by men with high IQs. So he dressed up as Donald Trump.
— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) 2. März 2016
(oli)
